“How screwed is this?” — I thought, reflecting on suddenly resurfaced memories of things I hadn’t done.
“The smarter you are, the better you are at rationalizing excuses for whatever you want to do…” — Mark continued in my headphones while I was meditatively chopping eggplant, enjoying dinner-making wind-down.
I actually did not reach out to many people I wanted to reach out to. And Mark Manson’s “How being smart can ruin your life” podcast brought back many memories.
So, the logic…
Before asking anyone anything, it’s a good idea and a sign of respect to do your homework and prepare — see if you can figure out the answer yourself. Sound, right?
In this preparation, we can actually overdo the analysis and “predict” a probable set of answers. With AI, we can now predict much more accurately — considering circumstances and nuances we haven’t been able to consider before.
Once the homework is done, it can look so persuasive and logical that the need for actual reaching out starts to seem weak.
But if we always talk ourselves out of reaching out and asking questions, it is a trap and an excuse for not being willing to expose ourselves to the outside world and learn if the predicted answers have anything in common with the real ones. Let alone the lost opportunities to connect.
Did you ever not reach out to someone because “it did not make any sense?” Is there a chance that you overthought it?
It doesn’t help when we think we’re the smartest in the room and know what others will actually tell us. As Naval Ravikant put it, “The only real test of intelligence is if you get what you want out of life.”
We think we’re smart… In some aspects — maybe yes, but not in all; and often not in the ones that matter most. Next time I start predicting someone’s answer, I’ll send the message anyway.