Feeling stuck? One more post for workaholics. Chances are you have a bunch of projects that you juggle 24/7. So the “My Competing Priorities” exercise might be right for you. All you need is 9 minutes, a pen and a sheet of paper. (No, it’s not about origami.)
At first we can’t rest normally, then we procrastinate and can’t work normally, then we work longer to achieve the planned results. Vicious cycle?
We won’t talk about prioritization methods like Kano, RICE, ICE and so on. Some time ago I wrote about the ICE scoring model because it struck me with its simplicity and seemed like a handy tool on the spot. But then it occurred to me that it often happens that many activities are actually of relatively equal importance. At least in my case, but I’m sure someone else has the same. How do you prioritize when everything is important? ICE doesn’t help much with this.
Before I tell you exactly what I did—and you can just scroll down to the picture at the bottom of the page as it sums it all up—I’d like to add a little more background and also touch on the topic of decluttering.
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It took me years to accept the introverted nature of myself. And my partner, as a true introvert, played a lot in this process. Therefore, being true introverts, we often see confusion on the faces of our friends when they hear about our “exciting holiday” during which the two of us played A Way Out on Sony PlayStation.
A common time for such confusion is, for example, my birthday or vacation. ‘Cause it’s just the time of “Where are you going?” and “How many people?” questions.
In the past, when I heard these questions, they shaped my idea of what my birthday should look like. I tried to live up to expectations. It was fun and exhausting at the same time. After such a birthday or vacation, I always needed more rest. So I eventually began to distinguish between these activities – those that energize me and those that consume my energy – and balance them in my schedule.
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Today I came across an article on how to become a better listener. The author says that in any conversation, in addition to being able to hear what the opponent is saying, we also need to convey interest and involvement. The article covers some tips on how to convey that interest, including repeating what the person said, nodding, etc. And while all of these things can be in the conversation, just trying to do it on purpose feels fake to me.
But nodding really works, you might say. Yes, if it’s real or looks real, otherwise it might convey something else, like an attempt at manipulation or that you’re pretending to be an active listener but thinking of something else. It doesn’t help the conversation.
I have a better idea, which is also much simpler, because you don’t have to remember all the “tactics” of an active listener, but instead just be. It works for me most of the time.
Continue reading* Written in April 2022, during the russian invasion of Ukraine.
For me it was down for about a month because of the need to make decisions right now without any chance to know what comes next. In fact even short term planning was limited, because the other day you would not even say about one hour of perspective.
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Often when we want to develop ourselves we pinpoint our weaknesses as opportunities for improvement. And that is ok when we want to get rid of some behavior that makes us unhappy or hinder our progress.
But look at this from another perspective. If you want to achieve something, progress, then the way of improving your weaknesses will take your focus and rather bring you to zero, if you count weaknesses as minuses. Say, -1 becomes 0.
From the other hand if you build on your strengths you will evolve from plus to multiple pluses, i.e. you will more likely excel at a chosen niche that you are good at and will become even stronger with a stronger competitive advantage. Say, 1 becomes 2 or 3. It is naturally easier to further develop your strengths because you are like a fish in water in this field already. And you more likely do not have a cognitive difficulty to start working on that and dedicate time and effort.
Do you know your strengths?
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Lots of theories out there. The one is for sure, it’s not only about money. Because in the end money is a tool to make or get something that really matters. If you want to build a house it is The house that you want, or even further, The comfort that you will get in this new house built according to your dreams etc.
But when we talk about money as a compensation for a job it is often the same. If you consider a certain salary at an expected level of what you can make, this will not motivate you nor demotivate you. If salary is below expectations it will demotivate. If salary is above expectations it will motivate for a short time, then it will become a new level of expectations and so will neither motivate nor demotivate you.
So what motivates people?
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When some part of you does not want to do something it will find a reason to justify inaction. For example your conscious hard-working part wants to read a scientific book and your procrastinating part wants to scroll more Instagram stories. And whether you read a book or watch stories depends on which your part wins at a given moment: procrastinating or hard-working.
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